Friday, January 28, 2011

An Update or Two

Well I got a new comments system down on this blog thing! Now anyone who is a living, breathing human can comment. Unfortunately since I changed it the prior comments have been deleted. So I apologize greatly for that, but at least I did it fairly soon...

About me not having pictures on here, I am sorry for that too. Honestly I try to find enough time to write and adding pictures would take up more time. Plus, I blog on my husband's lap top and all the pictures that aren't currently still on the camera (I download them about a whole whopping 4 times a year... ah-hem...) are on my old, ancient, prehistoric desktop. So basically, the short answer is- I'm LAZY. :)  But I really do want to share pictures with you all, so it will happen, just be patient with me...

Let's see. Today I was so incredibly bored at work! I was watching my life pass before my eyes... Plus I really needed to go grocery shopping and was going to go after I got out of work and with all those hours just ticking by... well it was just uber-painful. I could have had all my shopping done by the time I normally clock out... So what did I do in my time while I watched the computer clock change from minute to minute? I cut my hair. That's right! I cut my hair. Does it look good? Eh... not bad per-say. But I had a million split ends and there was LITERALLY nothing else to do. I tried to play email tic-tac-toe with a coworker (who is also one of my best friends), but she was busy... Or I could have watched TV in the waiting room, but nothing good was on. Or I could have sat there and counted how many ceiling tiles there were, but that would have only made me cranky because I would have lost count... So hair cutting it was! One of my other coworkers even said she was pleased with my thriftiness. Her words were (or close to her words... I forgot her actual words), "You saved time by not going to the salon, and didn't have to pay for a haircut, but rather GOT paid to cut your hair!" Once she said that, I realized, "Hey I'm not half bad when it comes to thrifty- and I wasn't even trying! Imagine if I actually tried to be thrifty... hmm..." Of course, I did just get a Great Clips coupon in the mail... So what am I going to do with that now? Bad timing, Sarah, bad timing...

In response to Talia's sickness and other random things that are troubling her, she's doing better today but still not back to normal. She won't eat much, but is at least hydrated. I think the teething will just have to run it's course for now along with the anti-eating thing. But I have gotten some good advice from a couple people and I really REALLY appreciate it! Thank you so much and you know who you are!

 Well, tis Friday night and I have some Stargate to catch up on... oh wait, did I say that out loud? Dang it! Now the whole world knows I'm a nerd!!!!

Wednesday, January 26, 2011

Talia's Troubles

The 2 main reasons of this post are one, to complain, and two, to ask for help! 

The lowdown is this: Talia has been sick off and on for about 2 months now and has been teething severely. Then on top of that she's entered the Terrible Twos early and has become so rambunctious that I can't keep up with her. She's constantly moving, won't ever sit still, and always wants her way. There's lots of these things that are definitely positive and I am so thankful for this stage because it is really a ton of fun. I absolutely LOVE feeling my heart leap when she gives me that cute little, almost sheepish, smile or when she wants to play Point or Baby Race down the hallway. But I am exhausted. My back is actually hurting because of having to chase her around constantly, move her from danger to safety, and calmly try to calm her down/"explain things to her" when she's throwing a tantrum. I need some good, practical help!!!

Her latest shananigan is refusing to eat. She won't eat! She refuses pretty much everything (except for yogurt or sometimes cereal in the morning) and then merely sips at her bottles and juice. It's a miracle if she finishes her dinner! I caught her today mushing up her food in her mouth but she refused to swallow it! Ai-yai-yai!!!

Right now she's on her third set of antibiotics due to ear infections. She's on tooth number 7 (she has gotten all of them within the past 2.5 months) which adds to the crankiness. Please pray that God will heal her little body and give Nick and I the energy to deal with all this. Speaking of energy, I am so exhausted from working and then having to take care of her in the evenings by myself. I feel like I can't even enjoy my baby because I'm so tired! I know, I wrote about being a stay at home mom the other day, but we're still not there yet. But I guess with all these other things Talia's going through that God is trying to tell me that working isn't working (hehe, no pun intended there...). I think I'm trying to do too much. There's too much on my plate. I don't have time or energy for the things or people that really, truly matter. I spend it all during the week on people who, most likely, I won't ever see again but then have nothing to give to my Lord, my husband, and my daughter. I should be flooding those three with my energy, attention, and love, but I have it all backward... I am draining myself, but rather should be seeking God. I need Him to help me with these situations and for Him to show me the way, but I only seek Him for some things, not all things, which is not good... Okay we're getting off topic here, but that's okay. I needed to write all that out stream-of-consciousness style to help me on a therapeutic level. Sorry for the detour... :)

So, fellow mommies, here's the list of things I need help with! Comment below with any/all advice!
1. Teething
2. Sickness/Infections
3. Not eating
4. Tantrums
5. Diarrhea/Rashes

Sunday, January 23, 2011

Night and Day

Me, like pretty much everyone else on the planet, have two completely different sides. One is the side that tries to do good, be nice to people while the other side is just plain yucky in every way. A lot of the time I can go from one to the other throughout the day. Except yesterday I think the entire day I went being yucky and then this morning I was trying to do damage control from yesterday.

Yesterday I was just depressed, lazy, exhausted, and frustrated. To add to it, my child I think sensed it and was just cranky Terrible Twos-like all day. My husband had told me to pray, read the Word, and ask for help and I knew I was supposed to do it and I know that it would have helped. But I refused. I just wallowed in my yuckiness, complained, and acted like my cranky baby. (Side note- I think God gave me a kid to really show me up close and personal how I act towards Him. It's all very humbling.)

Today I woke up in a much better mood, and I think solely by the grace of God. Naturally I don't think I would have changed and done a 180 all on my own. (Another side note- I am so thankful that we don't have to do things for God in order to earn His love or grace! We're so unworthy but still He loves us!) But, nevertheless, I woke up and wasn't frustrated or angry anymore. I got up, did my normal weekend morning routine, even did my makeup for church but didn't make it there... Talia decided it was nap time when it was time to leave... So here I was, all done up, and hanging out at home. My husband had encouraged me to go to church (he's out playing Marine this weekend- aka Marine Reserves) and I didn't really want to disappoint him (I'm a people pleaser- especially with certain people I'm married to) so I decided to listen to the message online. Our church is gigantic so if you miss, you can at least stay up to date online. (Another side note- we go to Rocky Mountain Calvary- rmcalvary.org.)

Today the pastor spoke on Luke 10:25-42. It definitely highlighted my personal yuckiness with the story of the Good Samaritan. Two of the people walked right by the beaten up man and I just felt like God was (nicely) showing me that I have been like that. Uncaring, indifferent, and cruel (just what you like to hear about yourself right?) and maybe not openly, but definitely inside.

Don't worry, there's a happy ending! Once God pointed that out, and thank God He doesn't point out of issues just to make us feel bad, but rather to fix them. I decided to step across that yucky, muddy, most likely radioactive stream of myself and follow God. Now I just got to work on not going back...

What about you? Do you ever find yourself just completely bleh and hate it? This is mainly a rhetorical question, but hey if you want to answer it in the comments section- go ahead! I'd love to hear reactions!

Here's some encouragement- God can fix it. He can take away the bleh and replace it with something only He can- His love and grace.

Wednesday, January 19, 2011

Wednesday Night

Well I have two blog posts in the making, but neither are ready for publishing yet. They need some revision... And I really am not sure what to write about. So here's the reader's digest version of my day.

Basically my day went something like this:

Woke up at 6, got out of bed at 6:30, got ready in 20 minutes (I am the queen of always being just a little late to work every day), worked, ate lunch, worked, watched it snow from work, left work, went to pick up Talia at daycare, got her home, ate birthday cake, fed Talia dinner, watched Talia feed herself dinner, ate pasta, watched her try and play peek-a-boo with herself, stared at the computer wondering what to write about, read about Obamacare being repealed (whoot! sorry to you who disagree- no personal offense, and I still love you all!), and then decided to just write about a whole lot of stuff that probably nobody really cares about, but too bad. :)

Talia did do some fun baby games tonight that are truly unique. She has three particular favorites: Baby Dentist, Point, and Upside Down Baby. 

Baby Dentist involves her prying open my mouth and examining my teeth, along with my tongue. And yes, I do let her do this. I know, I'm asking for it. Oh well, it's too dang cute! Plus I love watching how fascinated she gets with my teeth. I did discover a little issue with Baby Dentist tonight... I put too much garlic in her dinner and when she's that up close and personal it's a little overpowering... That girl needs a mint!

Point is basically that, pointing. She sees something, points to it, and then I have to point and touch her finger and say, "Point!" She cracks up every time. Kind of like the dogs in Up, but I don't like that analogy because (and I'm going to make a whole lot more enemies now, more so than the Obamacare statement) I really don't like that movie. Okay I said it, please don't crucify me! I just think that was the biggest Epic Fail movie ever! They made it all epic, but failed... miserably... Okay please still be my friends! It really is okay to disagree... I promise...

Upside Down Baby is also self-explanatory, except that we also tick-tock back and forth while she's hanging upside down. Or we spin upside down. Or we dip up and down while spinning upside down. And apparently the world is super awesome upside down when you're 1, and for some reason it's even more awesome after dinnertime... 

Alright there's my quickly put together post for the night. Maybe some of you can fall asleep to it... I'm sure it's sleep worthy. :) Night!

Saturday, January 15, 2011

Conversation with my husband

So I'm going to preface this post by saying that my husband and I are greatly in love, have a good relationship, and what I'm about to say does in no way "de-man" him and he knows it. I'm not sure you can "de-man" him- he's a Marine!

History: My husband is THE cook of all cooks. Yes I am biased, but once you eat something he's made, you'll be biased too. He can make the BEST food out of frozen veggies, ramen noodles, and left over chicken and it will taste like you should be paying $25 bucks for it. Me on the other hand- I have burned canned soup, and grilled chicken breast for 50 minutes... At least they were both done!!!

Lately: My last post was about me being able to stay home with my baby very soon (he has a very promising job that will God-willing allow him to quit his current job, make more money, etc. Plus God reaffirmed my need to be a stay at home mom/housewife/work from home gal about 50 more times today).

So, the conversation:

Him: "You know that when you stay home you'll have to cook more right?"

Me: "What? You can still cook..."

Him: "Yeah on occasion but not like I usually do now."

Me: "But... but... I'm not as good as you and I don't enjoy nearly as much..." (I can be so selfless, don't ya think? LOL)

Him: "Yeah... too bad. You'll get better the more you do it. I have faith in you."

So now everyone, I will be taking on a new career in addition to about the other 5 I got going on. Wish me luck! :)

P.S. I'm really not complaining. The times I have cooked it's gone fairly well. I just lack his imagination and love of cooking (I have more of a like for it...). He went to school for it and works in a restaurant now. I think I'm more afraid of not being as good as he is. His are hard shoes to fill in that department!

P.P.S. If anyone has any quick, easy, preferably healthy (not required though) meals they would like to share with me- let me know! Oooh, I could go over to http://www.miqueridacocina.blogspot.com/. I bet Renee has some good stuff.

Happy Saturday Night all! Enjoy!

Friday, January 14, 2011

Promises

Warning-Very Long- I'm sorry! But it will be worth reading- I promise!

I have told some of you in person that God has made this GARGANTUAN  promise to me on Wednesday night. Well now I'm announcing it! Announcing it for 2 reasons: 1. Because I am so super excited that I can't keep it to myself. 2. Because I need it for faith building of not only myself but for you all too. I  know that if I tell the whole world about it I'll be less likely to get discouraged and hey, it may help a bunch of you in your circumstances. So Win-Win!

I was reading my devotional- "From Faith to Faith" by Kenneth and Gloria Copeland (here's their website: www.kcm.org) and it was (and I'm summarizing and using my own words- and yes I do use a lot of parentheses) talking about basically stepping out in faith, allowing God to be our sole provider, not look to this world for satisfaction/hope/trust, and to take that leap of faith and believe that God will be there to catch you and help you fly. First off, I bet that's what any one of us would love to hear any day of the week! It really does put you on cloud 9. But for me, that day, it might as well have sent me to Heaven in a rocket ship!

Here's some history:

I have been praying, and praying, and praying, and my husband has been praying, and praying, and my family and friends have been praying, and praying, and we've all been praying for a very long time (about a year give or take) that God would allow me to be a stay at home mom and housewife. Sounds crazy to some of you, but that has seriously-no joke- been my lifelong dream since I was 4. I have never wanted to be anything else deep down. There have been other things that I dreamed of and that I do want, but none of those things have been rooted in my heart since childhood and have refused to be withered like this particular dream. I have a sneaky suspicion that someone Upstairs had a hand in not allowing that dream to go away.

Unfortunately I have had to put that dream on hold. When I had my baby girl, I went on maternity leave, pleaded desperately with God not to make me go back to work at my J.O.B., but ended up going back after only 10 weeks of being home with her (which about 8 weeks of which involved me either being super busy or still healing up from giving birth). I have since been at my job back full time now for about 10 months. Those whole 10 months I spent praying God would let me quit. Well maybe more like 5 months... the other 5 months consisted of me screaming, yelling, arguing, complaining, bawling, and tantrum-throwing about how I couldn't be at home... Yeah that's more accurate. I tended to act more like my Terrible-Two's-starting daughter... my bad...

I digress...

So I was reading this devotional and it was just flat out amazing like I said. Well I wasn't paying attention to the day that you're supposed to read it on. I'm really kind of OCD so if I skip a day or a week and it ends up not being in order- it makes me utterly crazy and I have to go back and read it so it's all in order. It was on a day from last week which I had skipped so I was making up for it. Once I was done reading I prayed and thanked God for this amazing insight. Then- here comes the good part- I looked at the date on the top left corner. Ready for this? It was MY DAUGHTER'S BIRTHDAY!!!!!

Well that was a HUGE confirmation that God will allow me to quit my job! If I just trust in God to take care of all our other needs (bills, insurance, childcare, etc.) and not tie myself so tightly to this world then my dream really will come true. I don't know exactly when, but I know it will be soon and it will be so amazing! God NEVER EVER breaks His promises- and He made me a humdinger of  a promise!

And if that wasn't enough of an amazing realization... I go into work today and while my coworker and I are getting ready to leave she says (paraphrased), "You know Sarah, I was telling someone the other day that you probably won't be here much longer. I'm going to miss you so much, but I just have this gut feeling that you'll be home with your baby here soon."

First off, I stared at her in disbelief. Does she have nanny cams in my house? Did she read the same devotional I did? Did she talk to my husband? How in the WORLD can she possibly know this???

Next, I told her all about my eye-opening experience I had had on Wednesday night. Then she looks at me and says (again paraphrased), "That was the same day that I had that gut feeling and was telling someone that I didn't think you'd be there that much longer."

HOLY MACARONI AND CHEESE!!!! The same day??? Talk about a confirmation!

Oh my gosh God! You work in so many crazy, weird, mysterious, but so stinking awesome ways! I just can't comprehend how these flood gates are opening up. I can see the water starting to pour out from the heavenlies- and I cannot wait to feel the water falling on my head like a sweet rain and then turning into a mighty holy flood! Praise You!

Thursday, January 13, 2011

Overnight

So most of the time I try to get myself to NOT panic over the fact that my baby girl is growing up. Sometimes my little pep talks help and other times not so much. For a long time a few months ago I would just bawl at the fact that she wasn't going to stay my baby forever. There are still some times like that now... Thank God they aren't as often.
I would be so sad over seeing how she would discover new things, learn to say words, crawl, walk, stand... Oh the list goes on. Well I have some good news! I'm no longer so incredibly sad over the fact that she is turning into a toddler (by the way, the terrible two's are not around 2 at all I don't think...).
In fact I'm so incredibly overjoyed that she is learning these new things! It makes it so much more exciting to hear her say "Daddy!" for the first time, sit at the big kid table for dinner, feed herself her food with a spoon, and charge down the hall like a rhino (all the while holding onto our hands for balance- and I like to think for comfort as well!).
Now we have this cute little bundle that we can rough house with, play games with, and have "conversations" with. She teaches me SO much about God everyday, in particular His patience... ah-hem...
She may have changed from this sweet little baby who didn't hardly move anywhere to this rambunctious (that could VERY easily be spelled wrong, and I'm an English major so I'll take the blame for it...) 1 year old that is giving us all a run for our money but blessing us immensely at the same time. But at least my heart has changed right along with her. I'm no longer trying desperately to hold onto the newborn that she was a year ago but rather embracing the little monkey that's swinging through the trees! Love ya babykins!

Wednesday, January 12, 2011

Greetings!

Hello there blog-land! I am officially incorporated into this whole crazy online world now. :)  Don't worry, I will eventually figure out a way to make the graphics better and all that technical stuff... eventually...

Well I'm Sarah and I have a wonderful husband and sweet baby girl who just turned 1. They are my life (and God too of course). I have been wanting to write for such a long time. It took me a long time to find a blog name that wasn't already taken- hence the delay in my starting this blog. Well, that's one excuse anyway... There are definitely others.

There are a few main reasons I have wanted to desperately to start this.
One- I want to share with people my heart. I have a really hard time doing it with my mouth, so I figured an online mouth could definitely help me past that hurdle- at least for now. God has been really pressing to me that I need to share my experiences and current situations with people. I'm assuming so I can make people feel like they CAN get through whatever. I guess I have something to offer somewhere in this mess. It kind of reminds me of a family garage sale... You bring out all your junk, but if you look hard enough there's a few treasures. There's many times when God reveals something to me and I desperately want to shout it from the rooftop but haven't. One reason is that it's WAY to cold to be up on the roof shouting at night (which is usually when God shows me stuff) and also because everyone who I think to call is either in bed, at work, or otherwise occupied. But hey, online's always awake! :)
Two- I wanted to have yet another way to document my current life experiences for my baby girl. I have her baby book, two calendars that I record info for her in, a journal that I write to her, and of course pictures. But, even with all that, it's hard to make it feel like I won't forget something. I want to insure that she gets lots of the details to help her with her future experiences (you know, don't let history repeat itself and such). Plus those things get filled out here and there. Hopefully I can make this a much more consistent thing.

About the name? Well it came partly from a devotional I was reading (more on that later). It's called "From Faith to Faith" by Kenneth and Gloria Copeland. It was talking about "stepping across the faith line" and following God and not caring about the natural realm or this world or about anything we can see or touch on earth. I had been trying to think of a name along the lines of "Stepping Up" "Serving Up" "Stepping out in faith" etc. So when I saw Stepping Across I was pretty excited (and it was AVAILABLE for a blog name- another miracle). Again, I'll explain more of that experience later.

I am also in the middle of hand writing in my journal to my daughter right now so gotta go! Can't wait to get to know you all!