Angry

Contrary to the title, this should actually be a somewhat humorous post. So please read with a sense of sarcasm. :)

The day I miscarried, I think I was the angriest person I've ever met. Now I could blame it on hormones, but then again the anger hasn't completely subsided since then. So hormones probably aren't the best excuse. Although I am better now, that should should put a bunch of you at ease.

As to why I was angry, there were several reasons. One, I had just miscarried. That's the obvious reason. The other main reason: I was mad at the whole species of mankind. Solely for existing. The fact I had to share a planet with the rest of the world drove me crazy that day. Narcissistic much?

Let me share a story about just how angry I was that day. On my way back from my doctor's appointment, I had to stop and get gas. I had just pulled up to the pump and was getting ready to get out of the car. This sweet, innocent old lady pulled up behind me to wait for me to move. (Side note- there were a few other pumps open. I still don't understand why she decided to wait behind me in the first place.) Well any normal person, who hadn't just miscarried mere hours before, would have just looked at her funny and then gone about their business. Me? I got livid. I mean- LIVID. The fact that the lady pulled up behind me was just about the most horrible thing anyone could have done to me at that point. I can't even remember what thoughts were going through my head- all I remember is a very big sense of rage. I think I was thinking things like, "How DARE she stop behind me! The nerve! Why can't she just go away and go to her own pump and leave me alone?! Gosh what's her problem? Doesn't she see the other pumps open? Is my car a magnet for her car and she just HAD to be near me? WHY CAN'T EVERYONE JUST GO AWAY AND LEAVE ME ALONE?!" I think the only thing missing was me turning green, tripling in size, and smashing things as the Incredible Hulkette.

Now, keep in mind, the sweet old lady never talked to me, didn't really even look at me, and actually did move to another pump once she realized I was just starting to get gas. We never spoke or even gave each other the stink eye. The poor innocent lady had no idea I was shooting death rays out of my eyes at her solely for being within 50 feet of me.

So there it is. Hormones? Maybe. At least they played a part that day in particular. My excuse for being angry since that day? Hmm... I'll have to ponder that one. Not to worry though, I have gotten over my fury at innocent old ladies parking behind me at gas stations.