Night and Day

Me, like pretty much everyone else on the planet, have two completely different sides. One is the side that tries to do good, be nice to people while the other side is just plain yucky in every way. A lot of the time I can go from one to the other throughout the day. Except yesterday I think the entire day I went being yucky and then this morning I was trying to do damage control from yesterday.

Yesterday I was just depressed, lazy, exhausted, and frustrated. To add to it, my child I think sensed it and was just cranky Terrible Twos-like all day. My husband had told me to pray, read the Word, and ask for help and I knew I was supposed to do it and I know that it would have helped. But I refused. I just wallowed in my yuckiness, complained, and acted like my cranky baby. (Side note- I think God gave me a kid to really show me up close and personal how I act towards Him. It's all very humbling.)

Today I woke up in a much better mood, and I think solely by the grace of God. Naturally I don't think I would have changed and done a 180 all on my own. (Another side note- I am so thankful that we don't have to do things for God in order to earn His love or grace! We're so unworthy but still He loves us!) But, nevertheless, I woke up and wasn't frustrated or angry anymore. I got up, did my normal weekend morning routine, even did my makeup for church but didn't make it there... Talia decided it was nap time when it was time to leave... So here I was, all done up, and hanging out at home. My husband had encouraged me to go to church (he's out playing Marine this weekend- aka Marine Reserves) and I didn't really want to disappoint him (I'm a people pleaser- especially with certain people I'm married to) so I decided to listen to the message online. Our church is gigantic so if you miss, you can at least stay up to date online. (Another side note- we go to Rocky Mountain Calvary- rmcalvary.org.)

Today the pastor spoke on Luke 10:25-42. It definitely highlighted my personal yuckiness with the story of the Good Samaritan. Two of the people walked right by the beaten up man and I just felt like God was (nicely) showing me that I have been like that. Uncaring, indifferent, and cruel (just what you like to hear about yourself right?) and maybe not openly, but definitely inside.

Don't worry, there's a happy ending! Once God pointed that out, and thank God He doesn't point out of issues just to make us feel bad, but rather to fix them. I decided to step across that yucky, muddy, most likely radioactive stream of myself and follow God. Now I just got to work on not going back...

What about you? Do you ever find yourself just completely bleh and hate it? This is mainly a rhetorical question, but hey if you want to answer it in the comments section- go ahead! I'd love to hear reactions!

Here's some encouragement- God can fix it. He can take away the bleh and replace it with something only He can- His love and grace.