Journaling

Ever have those moments when you think, "Oh I'll remember that!" But then you never do? Yeah... I have lots of moments like that. I even told my mom once that someone should invent a camera that attaches to your eyelashes. That way every time you blink, you'll have the moment captured forever! Of course there is a downside to that- I'd end up with a lot of really boring pictures that I wouldn't know what to do with... So I guess journaling and taking as many pictures (with my husband's not-so-high-tech-been-to-Iraq-and-back Kodak) as I can will suffice.

I have been journaling for about the last year since Talia was born. I journal in a way where I write to her and she can go back and read when she's older (if she wants to anyway). It does help with the whole remembering thing, but I find myself running into some walls with that. I will procrastinate and procrastinate. Just now I realized the last time I journaled was a month ago... Do you know how much stuff goes on in a month in my life?? I'm blessed to remember the last day or two clearly... So now I'm stuck with trying to think of all the random many things that have happened. It's so hard to keep up with! Renee even reminded me in her blog how hard it is to stay on top of recording everything.

Intermission: my computer just crashed with a blue screen of death... But now we seem to be back to normal. Not that any of you notice, but figured I'd fill you in. :)


So needless to say, I am committing myself to journaling more. Maybe it'll be a little bit on my blog and a little bit on paper, but I will document my life and my baby's life as best I can. Who knows what kind of fruit it will produce? Maybe a laugh on a day where I feel depressed, or encouragement when I need that extra push, or a reminder that God is on His throne no matter what- especially on those days when fear and doubt creep into my mind and decide to not leave. I'm sure that someone someday will benefit from reading what I am currently writing, be that me, my baby, my husband, a friend, or a stranger.

This, That, and The Other

This: I have entirely too much to do today. I have taxes to finish- I promised myself they would be in the mail tomorrow. I do have a ways to go on that. I also have to work my business a little bit more today and that's overwhelming me too. Not to mention my house could always use more cleaning... 

That: I have completely fallen in love with my life lately! Being able to focus on the things that I've been longing too has been such an amazing blessing! I think the last time I had the chance to focus on my home, my business, and my baby was when I was on maternity leave a year ago. And let's face it- when you're on maternity leave you just don't have the energy to do anything except the bare minimum. So other than maternity leave- I really can't remember the last time I was able to focus on all the important things in my life. 

The Other: I have talked a lot about being able to be home with my baby and be a housewife. I LOVE those jobs probably more than I should. I say that because my husband has really shown me that I have neglected my most important relationship- God and me. And the sad part is that I know it, but I  haven't done anything to change it. Jesus has done so much for me, so much more than I realize. I am ashamed to say I take it all for granted. Just admitting that is painful. I mean, we're all human and we are sinners and we make mistakes and that's where Jesus comes in- to redeem us from those sins because He loves us SO much! I can't exactly expect to be completely perfect 24/7. But I do have to make an effort to be more like Him and follow His ways. My ways just don't work and end in nothingness, disappointment, and sometimes even disaster. Solution? I need to read His Word more, talk to Him more, and act on what He says. Why that's so hard for me to do, is beyond me.

 Thanks for listening... Apologies for dumping my heart on you all... :)

What I've been up to

I'm going to do my best to summarize all my goings-on in the past several days. I said I'll do my best- no guarantees!

Well this last Friday was my last day at work. I have several mixed feelings about that. I am going to miss the people I've worked with over the past two and a half years like none other! I've already made a ton of promises to keep in touch and visit so I think they will forgive me for leaving... someday... Am I going to miss the actual job? Uh- no. I'm very excited to be working 2 jobs now that are way more fulfilling, way less stressful, and pay a whole lot better! :)

I've been trying to get my taxes done as well. For those of you who don't know me- I DESPISE taxes with every ounce of my body and soul. I pretty much can't stand anything that is this complicated and has the government involved and involves my money. My opinion? My money, my business, enough said. 

K done with the ranting on that- for now at least. :)  I know I shouldn't complain... My favorite Scripture is Philippians 2:14-16. It says, "Do everything without complaining or arguing, so that you may become blameless and pure, children of God without fault in a crooked and depraved generation, in which you shine like stars in the universe, as you hold out the word of life- in order that I may boast on the day of Christ that I did not run or labor for nothing." That whole first part saying don't argue or complain- yeah I need to work on that... I need to remember that I still need to submit to the authorities in my life, even if they're stupid, for the sake of Christ and that it will work out for the best if I do. 

Best for last! Friday night I was at Renee's house for a video chat with McMama who was in Africa. We got to meet some of the villagers and they told us their names and, I have to say, the children were precious! I never thought I'd be able to say, "Hey I met someone in Africa tonight" and now I am able to say that and I feel so blessed! Those people were so sweet, and it's absolutely mind-boggling to see "first-hand" (via Skype anyway) what the Lord is doing in Africa.

I'm the one on the far right- tired as all get out but I'm so glad I was able to be there. 

And here's the video of the actual chat. Just listen for the children saying their names- it's amazing!

It's Been Awhile

Apologies to my blog. I have completely neglected you lately. And sorry to my small group of readers for my absence. I have definitely been preoccupied.

First off, I have put in my notice to quit my job. That terrifies me to no end. My last day is next Friday and I cannot tell you how scared I am. I know I shouldn't be, but I really truly am! I should be super excited to be home with my baby girl. Like I've said before it's been my lifelong dream to be a mom and wife, but now that it's actually happening, I feel like having a heart attack. I'm sure it's just the unknown and my earthly security blanket is going away. But I am called to not hold onto anything of this earth... Need to remember that! I need not look at the many MANY things I am losing by quitting, but the many MORE things I'll be gaining by quitting. A lot of those things I'll be gaining will definitely be treasures stored up in heaven- I am convinced of this!

So needless to say, there's been a lot on my mind lately, just not much of it has been written down. Plus, last weekend was our 5 year anniversary and the entire weekend was devoted to my husband.We had a blast just being baby-less (she went to hang with grandma and grandpa), eating out, relaxing, hiking, sleeping in way late, and just remembering how much we love each other.

I have also been planning a lot of how I'm going to be working my business again and getting it back off the ground. I'm highly detail oriented so I have been going over a million different things of when I'm going to work, how I'm going to work, etc. I could probably spend a lot of that planning time actually working... ah-hem...

Well I am working on my next blog post. It's kind of a follow up to Renee's post. Stay tuned. Hopefully I won't leave you all hanging for weeks on end again. :)

TV

So I'm outing myself when I say that Nick and I... don't have... a... TV. 

Now let me explain:

Those of you who have been to our home know there's a TV in our home because it's gigantuan and near impossible to miss- it's about 5 feet long by 5 feet tall by 3 feet deep. But all we use it for is movies. Yes, it's sad. Our poor TV has been demoted and now lives a boring life of just movie playing and doesn't get to share any fun new commercials with us or depress us with the evening news. It really has been quite traumatic for the TV. We would have slowly weaned it off of the commercial and news addiction that it had gotten it self into, but unfortunately we didn't have that option. We had two options: upgrade to the digital and keep feeding our TV's addiction to commercials and news or just let it go cold turkey. We opted for the cold turkey. We couldn't allow our precious TV to follow in its past ways- it may have never gotten out of the rut that it was in. 

There's a happy ending though! Our TV has been able to battle the withdrawal symptoms and has (I'm proud to say) come out on top! It is now a proud movie only playing TV and if it could talk, it would tell you that it is the better for it. It no longer fills itself up with the garbage of the world and then shares it with us, but rather only shows us the stuff we wish to see (although sometimes that does tend to be garbage anyway, but we're a work in progress just like the TV). 

So for my friends who are happily watching the Super Bowl, I am sad for now. I do wish our TV could share that with us, especially the commercials. But for now, we'll find a movie. Or maybe no movie at all. Perhaps we'll just play together as a family tonight and enjoy some yummy food. 

P.S. I do want to know who wins!!! :)

Blogging

So here it is. I have no clue how to blog. I know how to type, and obviously that's as far as I've gotten. I should put up pictures or make a fancy design, but I don't know how and I don't have the time either... So apologies all around for having the most boring blog ever. I promise it won't last forever! For now, you'll have to listen to my rambling... No complaints yet, so that's good.

There's not too much new here, minus our car troubles (more on that later- going to try and focus on the positive for now) and we're all doing better. Talia is FINALLY eating again and doing much better with teething and being cranky. We actually had a wonderful night tonight! She and I ate and played (pictures to come of the eating...) and she was laughing all night long. It's been a long time since I have heard her crack up for hours on end and I LOVE IT!!! It was a blast to just hang out with her, eat some yummy grilled cheese, and crawl around together. I swear, she's the most fun kid ever! ;)  Thank you so much for all of your advice and prayers. I really appreciate you all!

Also, I am SO grateful to my friend and coworker who gave me a ride home from work and even went out to Talia's daycare and back to my house. I don't know what I would have done without her! She was such a great blessing and I can't thank her enough. Maybe lunch will be in store for her tomorrow... She deserves it!

I think the rest of my night is going to consist of strategizing, a little worrying, and calling various people to figure things out- so for now I'm off. Hopefully I can squeeze some relaxing in there too.

Night everyone and God bless and stay warm!

Why I look forward to Heaven

1. No more tears. In particular baby tears. And this is for two reasons. One is that it tests my patience and sometimes, regrettably, I snap. Two, it really is heartbreaking when my baby girl screams and there's nothing I can do to fix it.

2. No more need for patience. That just lets out a big "wooosawww" in my soul. Working all day outside the home in a place that requires a ton of patience (for patients! HAHA sorry I couldn't resist...) and then coming home to a baby who can be either sweet or screamy. I can't imagine being able to be around people and we'll never have to have patience with each other ever again.

3. No more worry. Whoot! That's exciting! There will be nothing to be worried about... Nothing! :)

4. Walking by sight, not by faith. Being able to see everything instead of having to trust is going to fantastic!

5. No more being sucked down into yucky stuff. There won't be any temptations to gossip, curse, be lazy, lie, cheat, cut corners or any of the like. No temptations to fall or fail. That's such a huge weight off my shoulders. I have a bad habit of falling and failing and to know that it's only temporary is great!


Good night all!